Chronic Illness sucks. Over the last year I have had so many life altering events occur, and the only thing i ever seem to be able to do is focus on this monster in my body.
The article states that we don’t “fight” or “beat” Chronic Illness but that instead we:
- Cope with
- Live with
And then we will be able to “live” with our illnesses… but I dont think I am doing ANY of those things. Coping? Nope! Total Denial and life affecting… Managed? As in my pain? Nope! My moods? nope! What about contained and controlled? well my credit card bills are certainly no longer contained, and I’ve lost all ability to control my temper. Nothing is handled and all I can confront in my husband over not understanding what this nightmare in my head is doing to me… so no I am definitely not “living” with my illnesses.
So then what am I doing? Dying? I’m not dying of pain… so then what ..
I am taking a full course load at University this semester so I need to journal for a number of courses and as I become and educator I will really need to turn this into a practice.
So here we go. a new start.. which is you go back to the beginning of this, you’ll see Ive already attempted this many times but what the hell right?!