Life

Tuesday

Ok let’s try this, wasn’t so bad yesterday 😉

 

Morning was really good today. We had a big talk last night and went over why the morning is so hard. A works till close to 3am most nights and while I get off at 5, that is most often when he is starting his shift. So we are a 1/2 hour in the morning, Monday evenings, and Sundays kind of family. That does not leave a lot of time for communicating. So we often try to ignore issues between us so that we can “enjoy” that small amount of time together. But it also means that things tend to simmer and eventually boil over.

 

I told him how I felt like all I needed in the morning was an open ear, some encouraging words, and maybe a cup of tea in the morning, and that I felt guilty for keeping him awake when I know he worked late, but also that I felt resentful because I knew he gets to lounge around the house all day after I’m gone. And that to find him facebooking or falling back asleep is hard because we don’t get that much time together.

He told me if I asked him to get up, or make breaky, or actualy asked him to be awake he swould but because I never say “Hey you! Wake up!” that he just can’t wake up…And that he wouldnt think I should feel guilty for that, but that if I want it I need to ask for it. We also talked about how we would want our morning to look, and maybe how our morning would look in the future if there are more bodies around, and how if we can’t be civil to each otehr when it’s just the 2 of us then what hope do we have when there are more?

So this morning we had scrambled eggs and tea and I bet the moment I was out of the house he was back in bed, but that also makes me really happy. I slept better last night then I have in a while and didn’t wake up so panicky. But I still feel a bit tender and tired.

Tomorrow will be better, tomorrow will always be better

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