When Chronic Pain is Trauma: Processing Chronic Pain Memories from a Trauma Framework

AModernUkrainian:

k this is a self note to do this. i am trauma :(

Originally posted on Life in Slow Motion:

The Last Days 506

This past December, I spent a long time processing the year 2014. One of my intentions was to think through my best and worst memories from the year, but when the time came to process everything and write about it, I felt stuck. I have said it before, 2014 was a rough year. Processing everything that happened felt overwhelming, and I didn’t know how to start.

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How to Effectively Help Chronic Pain Patients

AModernUkrainian:

Harsh truth.. but anyone living with chronic pain knows… that is what our friends and family need about us. We play so many “we’re so fine” game ALL THE TIME that even those closest too us start to feel as if every interaction is some sort of game ….

So if we say no to something, then just no, we’ll get up. We’re not 100 (even tho we often like to say OFTEN how we feel like we are) so dont treat us like it….

Originally posted on psychhealthblog:

Often, chronic pain patients become more dependent on others, which can feel like a burden to significant others. A pain patient becomes more dependent as a result of feeling immobilized and overwhelmed by the changes in their lives. She or he may feel unable to do things that she or he could previously do with little or no effort. Eventually, she or he experiences lowered self-confidence and self-esteem. Encouragement from others may no longer help.

Out of concern and a desire to be helpful, significant others often begin taking on the patient’s responsibilities. All of us would like to help out our loved ones when they are in need. However, keep in mind that there is a difference between helping someone do what she or he can no longer do and actually taking over a responsibility. Removing responsibilities produces negative results (lowered self-esteem, further withdrawal from daily living, guilt, etc.).

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8 things: What not to say

8 things: What not to say.

 

I’d like to add the following:

“Let’s just go/get on with it/do this/deal with this later” – uhhhh no do you not see that I just shut down completely… I need to be sure that we ALL know whats going on and have resolved any miscommunications before I LITERALLY can even think about moving….

Starting any sentence with No.. and then continuing on… fuck that. you say your thing just fine without needing to cancel me out before you even start…

Can I say something without offending you…. No. the answer is just no. You know it WILL offend. So just talk like fucking adults and dont force an extra 30 seconds to a minute of awkward staring while my anxiety increases to 100000000 because who knows it might be the time someone straight up tells you you smell or that they hate you… FUCK

And lastly this isnt a thing to say perhaps but if you are with someone who experiences anxiety ANYONE  when they are stressed or anxious AT ANYTIME. Do not PULL OUT YOUR PHONE FOR ANY OTHER REASON OTHER THAN 3-4 MISSED CALLS IN A ROW. Finish what you are doing/saying/aqguing about and say I must take this call/message/email and I will return in a moment. then go take your whatever and then return and say “hey sorry, technology sure is a pain eh? what were we two humans talking about?”

 

Just saying

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Straight Men Explain Things to Me

AModernUkrainian:

We all know that women are history’s favourite scapegoat. They are scapegoats because straight male privilege has dictated that the easiest way to do this, if they can’t be, at least in our country, raped, beaten, flogged, circumcised, stoned, drowned in wells or burnt at the stake, then they can, at the very least, be mocked, chastised, forced to live up to unrealistic beauty standards and have their experiences completely and utterly invalidated.

Originally posted on The World According to Ryland:

If I could choose to be a straight man, I would. At least, this is what I tell myself sometimes. As you can imagine, it doesn’t really help me sleep at night. If anything, it’s only made me more perturbed by the well of conflicting emotions swirling inside of me. I did not choose to be persecuted. I should not have to justify my existence to corrupt lawmakers who, notepads out, prescribe me with injections of Leviticus the way a licensed medical professional would treat a bout of flu with antibiotics. My “affliction” was declassified as a mental disorder by the World Health Organization in 1990. It’s unnerving, then, to still feel the knife in my gut when I read about yet another young teenager, or a college student, pushed to suicide. It’s disturbing still, to read about homosexuals thrown off buildings to their deaths by ISIS, to discuss public…

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Straight Men Explain Things to Me

Straight Men Explain Things to Me.

We all know that women are history’s favourite scapegoat. They are scapegoats because straight male privilege has dictated that the easiest way to do this, if they can’t be, at least in our country, raped, beaten, flogged, circumcised, stoned, drowned in wells or burnt at the stake, then they can, at the very least, be mocked, chastised, forced to live up to unrealistic beauty standards and have their experiences completely and utterly invalidated.

It’s [NEVER] too late to Apologize.

AModernUkrainian:

When is a turning point for BPD? When does it all just stop?” Her answer: “When one becomes utterly exhausted from all of the self-inflicted chaos that she just decides to give up all of her pride. All of her hurt. All of her resentment and residual pain. When she reaches this breaking point. Whether it be of loving someone significant enough to bring her from suffering or may it be she cannot bear to live one more moment in her own chaos. She will find sanctuary in her self and pull herself from the lifetime of darkness she has created.”

Originally posted on Femme Fatale:

I have not felt the urge to write lately. I have been allowing my heart to mess with my head thus reality and I had decided to lie doggo for the mean time until I pull myself out of this funk. I have been occupying my time trying to demassify my usual reclusive state with a new project; a local fanzine. I have also decided to drown in D&d 5th edition meets for the remainder of my free time. Hopefully this “fanzine” thing will become a more productive obsession versus my current relatively unhealthy one; B and his luscious D.

I am finally home after a long and hard trip to Oklahoma and Texas…. Oh and after spending three marvelous days with B. Well, two were marvelous one of them I once again murdered with my drunken belligerence. I keep telling myself I need to stop drinking yet…

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