Punishing the recovered, for the actions of the illness. Separating the person from the condition.


Very helpful advice for anyone living with or loving someone who deals with mental health challenges

Originally posted on So Illuminate Me:


I am currently well, or at least in recovery, and I am dealing with the consequences of the actions of my ‘sick’ self. Yes…for newbies, I suffer with mental health problems.

Whilst it is said one in three of us will suffer from some sort of mental health disorder at some point in our life, understanding and compassion is still lacking for those of us that suffer. OK I get it, Unless you have actually experienced depression or a specific mental health problem you will not understand. I suffer with Depression, BPD and OCD but I do not understand the suffering of say….a schizophrenic.

Why is it that once well, I am made to suffer the punishment for the things I have done whilst sick? On the whole, my family have been very forgiving, often sweeping things under the carpet but I have lost friends over this. Close, best…

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Biggest Fear


Hey Jess,

Thank you for sharing. That really is my biggest fear.The fear that forces all my anxieties and pain and shit to the surface, is that I have to break my “It’s fine It’s fine It’s all great!!!!!!!” exterior if I ever want to be honest.

I feel trapped between pretending I am Superwoman OR laying out my life’s story to rando’s because they asked how it it’s going… and I couln’t fine my plasticky fake smile to brush them off. It’s also what makes me feel so desperatly alone even when I have cheerleaders of my own. Because I know they would all leave and dissapear if they had to deal with the ugly painful hole that lives inside there ya know?

I’ve been struggling with this idea of self-love or self-care and I honestly can’t decide if I think it is hooey or not. I can fill countless journals of “positive thinking” or deconstruct my worries to rational and reasonable thoughts .. but I dont FEEL it. I FEEL like everyone who has left has a perfectly valid reason, that I wouldnt be around myself if I could help it. And I often try to get as far away from myself as possible.

I’ve never understood moderation. Whether it be love or loathing.. I only ever feel one or the other. and that goes for myself too. Most days I wake up devestated that the week is not further along, devestated that I will have to subject more people to my pathertic company, my lazy worthless self that refuses to even help herself with basic positive choices.

So thank you Jess! Today is a good day for this motto so I will try to apply it best I can.

“No on else’s opinion in the end matters if we are not feeling good with ourselves.”

Originally posted on noonegetsflowersforchronicpain:

Biggest Fear

“My biggest fear is that someday you will see me as I see myself.” Anon

This quote almost brought tears to my eyes because it truly can relate to most people I have encountered in my lifetime: chronic pain or no chronic pain. The second I read it I felt something hard in my gut and knew I had to write. People look at me and I’m the pretty girl who works out, is a great mom, and has a loving family: the girl who just has it all. For example, often people ask me: “Why do you work out, you look great!” I don’t work out to look good, I work out because it is my second best tool to managing chronic pain and anxiety. I obviously, never go into detail as to why I adore exercise because people would not understand and I honestly do not have the…

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Fuck “Sexy”


People shouldn’t have consensual sex because it’s waaaaay hotter than other kinds of sex – people should have consensual sex because otherwise they are rapists.

Originally posted on The Belle Jar:

Sometimes I feel like I want to ban the word sexy. Like, take that shit out of the dictionary and impose a fine whenever someone uses it.

Which is pretty funny because I’m super sex-positive and I definitely want people to feel good about their bodies and secure in their sexuality, however it manifests itself.

But man am I ever fucking tired of how we use that word to shame girls and sell them on a bunch of gross patriarchal ideas about how they should be.

Take this picture, which was tweeted/posted by Floyd Mayweather and has been making the rounds over the past few days:


Like, first of all, this is a dude who has been charged with two counts of domestic violence. Why would anybody think that what he has to say about women is even a little bit valid? I am not really down with anyone…

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Jagged little pill: has the recovery narrative gone too far?


A Very interesting read. As someone trying to come to grips with my mental health while being in academia, I feel very pressured on both sides. On one hand, pretending that despite my issues, I can keep pace with everyone else, that I can do a million things, and be productive, and, and, and…. And on the other.. when I need to ask for help, I have set myself up as this person who does a million things, and I get shamed into being told I need to do less, that I AM less…. When really I just need some understanding or a simple alteration to the status quo, and I can still do a million things, but I can do them in a way that allows me to breath at the end of the day.

Originally posted on purplepersuasion:

I feel that in writing this post, which has been brewing for a long time, I am saying something that some might see as controversial. So let me start by making something clear. This post is not intended to criticise the work of the big charities – I am a proud member of Mind and Rethink Mental Illness and have undertaken both paid and voluntary work for both organisations. I have also volunteered for Time to Change and made a TTC pledge at last year’s Mind Media Awards. A huge amount of good work is being done on a daily basis to challenge public perceptions of mental health and to normalise discussions of the topic. Time to Change is entirely right to highlight just how peculiar it is that mental health stigma continues to loom so large given that a quarter of the population is thought experience some form of…

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Thursday Myths & Legends 101: Bleeding Heart Flower

Originally posted on Tales From The Hollow Tree:


This is a very old Japanese legend that was told to me by my father, when we happened upon a Bleeding Heart flowerbush once, and today I will tell it to you.  The really amazing thing about it is that the entire story, as happens in Japanese legends occasionally, can be illustrated in actual physical things—in this case, the anatomy of a flower.

There once was a young man who fell dearly in love with a beautiful and wealthy maiden.  He made her lavish gifts to try to win her love.  Firstly, he gave her a pair of the most luxorious rabbits to keep as pets.


These she took happily, but declared she could not love him.  Still, he can’t bear to give up hope, and he makes her another gift of slippers made of the finest silk.


She also recieved these gifts, but told the young man her feelings…

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Second post in a day! – Oh how I wish this was me being productive….

Sorry, I really had planned to make my second post about the sourdough bread I’m making and the incredible pizza we had over the weekend but I need to interject with a big fat WTF?




“Hi there I’d like to make an appointment with my GP, Dr. Why fucking bother (not her actual last name)”

“Oh great, looks like her last day is on Wednesday, can I get you in before then?”

“Uh… last day for what? What is happening, why didnt anyone tell me this? I only get thursdays of work? HOW on earth did noone think it would be important to tell me that the only DR who is allowed to perscribe my meds is leaving till “next spring”? 

Poor receptionist… 

Seriously!!! WTF?